Ginger (maiamorgan) wrote in adoptee_in_pain,


I am more than your definition of me.

I am not defined by the word "adoptee".

I am not defined by this word any more than the words “rape survivor” or “bisexual” or “scifi fangirl” or “pagan” defines me.

There is more to me than just these words. I am all of those things, just as I am also the words "daughter, sister, granddaughter, aunt, niece, cousin, mother, wife, and woman".

I do not fit into neat little categories. No one does.

Your pain does not define me either. Your issues are not mine.

I had a wonderful childhood. I have amazing parents, and I have never doubted their love for me. Just because they adopted me does not make you better than them or vice versa.

I do not view adoption the way you do. It was a great experience for me. That is not to say that there have not been problems, but every family has problems.

I love my family. I love my Momma and Daddy. I love my Granny, and I adore my brother.

I am sorry you did not get to raise us. I am sorry that you have all the pain, hate, and confusion that you do. You would have been a marvelous mother to us, of that, I have no doubt.

I am sorry that my parents feel threatened by you. I am sorry that they will probably never know just how wonderful you are. I am sorry that I have to keep those two important parts of my life separate in order to maintain my own sanity.

I am sorry that you think so little of me. It is really a pity, since I think the world of you.

I am sorry that in trying to share every little bit of my life with you, I have hurt you. It was not intended.

I am sorry that you do not respect me enough to talk about these things with me, and that you feel it is necessary to break my heart and go behind my back; much in the same way you accuse me of doing.

I am sorry that you do not realize how much I love you. I have shared parts of my life with you that I have not shared with anyone else. I love having you in my life and it hurts when you’re not.

You are my birthmommy. You are family. I love you, even if you don’t believe me.

However, I am still more than your definition of me, and I wish you could understand that.
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